“Just Google It” – the internet still doesn’t have all the answers.

“Hey Google” or “Alexa” or “Siri, how old is Bill Paxton?“

Once Upon a Time…

I went to college long enough ago that when a disagreement arose between roommates we couldn’t just grab our phone and “Google the Answer.”

I’m not so old that we didn’t have access to a search engine. My roommates and I lived in a time where each of us owned desktop computers. We’d be too lazy to drag our butts from the living room to one of the bedrooms to look up the answer. Hours of debate would follow.

“No Star Wars is the best movie trilogy of all time.”
“The Prequels count, Star Wars isn’t a trilogy. The Matrix is the best trilogy of all time.”
“You’re high!”

Rotten Tomatoes would quickly dismiss either of the aforementioned trilogies.

The answer is the “Back to the Future” trilogy. I mean most websites say “The Lord of the Rings” but I believe The Hobbit disqualifies those films… also, the Rings movies were way too long and really boring.

I digress.

Now…

At the first hint of a factual disagreement with my wife, my fingers immediately dance upon my phone’s screen to tickle the answer out of the infinite depths of the inter-web.

Often if I find out I’m right, I’ll let my phone read the answer aloud while I conduct my celebratory dance… the Sloot Shuffle.

Parental disagreements feel a bit more like those 20 years ago when it comes to raising the baby. I can’t just ask the smart speaker “When should I let my baby try ice cream for the first time?”

There are too many opinions and too many websites. Google no longer holds the answer. We endlessly debate until one of us (me) gives up. From the first night home from the hospital, nearly 9 months ago, until now I’ve still not found a great place to find all the information.

My wife increasingly references whatTHEY” say.”

“They say she should get cut up food and feed herself.”
“Who are they?”
“They, the experts, in an article I read.”

A million articles and a million experts.

The conflicts don’t stop at the internet. Family, friends and co-workers all have experience and all have opinions.

Someday, I’ll have all the experiences and I’ll have the opinions to share. And on those occasions where my opinion turns out to be right…

You guessed it… SLOOT SHUFFLE.

RIP Bill Paxton

Ben Sloot